dear future husband,

we’re going to have a dog.  sometimes, he might sleep in our bed.  you’re going to have to deal with it.

the end.

x leslie

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dear future husband:

i recently read this quote from comedian Mindy Kaling, “I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it’s possible, and because I want it for myself.”

it made me think about how sometimes in relationships, we dwell on the bad things. you chomp your gum.  i zone out whenever you talk about sports, etc.  perhaps, instead of thinking of all these bad things, we focus on the good things: i gave excellent back rubs, and you make me see the type of person i want to be.

you in? you willing to focus on those positives with me?

x leslie

dear future husband:
i am so grateful to my parents.  my mother is a wise, wise woman.  remember her sage advice, here and here?  yeah, i am so grateful that she’s so amazing.  i’m also so grateful that she met and fell in love with my father.  he, too, is such a great example.
i can only hope that i will be that type of parent.  i remember him teaching me valuable spiritual lessons: following the prophets, no matter what; paying your tithing; loving the Lord with all your heart.  those sorts of things.
recently, i’ve started wondering how i would react if one of my children left the Church.  i have relatives who have left, and i have seen inactivity first hand.  its hard.  i don’t know how i would react.  hopefully, though, we will have raised them in such a way that they will return.  hopefully, we will love them enough that somehow, and at sometime they will return.
x leslie
ps.  i really want to be a mother.  don’t let my beliefs about women’s rights confuse you.  i think motherhood is the best calling a person can hope for.

Steinbeck on love

Steinbeck wrote this very sweet and insightful letter to his son, after his son told him he fell in love with a girl in his class:

New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa