the past two years have been such confusing years. i’ve had some of the highest points of my life, and also some of the toughest struggles.
– making wonderful covenants with the Lord in the temple
– figuring out my career (hopefully for the last time)
– making wonderful friends
– being single for over two years and having very few options (i can count the amount of dates i’ve been on in the past two years with one hand)
– plus, as of now all of my exes are in serious committed relationships (engaged/married)
– having some of the biggest spiritual struggles of my life and doubting answers that i received and was once so sure of
– increased anxiety and stress regarding my future
– some intense loneliness and nostalgia for school and my friends from there
part of the reason i haven’t blogged much in the past two years is because i felt like i don’t know anything. i feel like if my past relationships haven’t worked, then something must be wrong with me. it’s crazy and untrue. i mistook “realism” for “cynicism” especially when it comes to how i view myself. but i’m done with that. i also thought that i shouldn’t accept that i care a lot about finding love; romance shouldn’t be in the top of my priorities, but it is. i’m a romantic.
so, i’m back to blogging. i’m back to being a “realistically-hopeful-romantic”.
be on the look-out for more “dear future husband” letters.