“Happiness is marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage, the little things are big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remember to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together and facing the world. It is never forming a circle of love that fathers the whole family. it is doing things for each other, not in the attitude or duty of sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfecting in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. it is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.” – letter from Paul Newman to his wife on their wedding day
dear future husband:
a few weeks ago, i went to a fireside for my ward that talked all about dating.
the speaker said that the main quality we should want in a spouse in the capacity to change. i know i’ve talked about this before, being the point of love and marriage. and i can’t believe how true it is. we are all flawed, and it our willingness to change that will make us better people.
i’m working on that for myself, and i hope that you’re working on it, too.
“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”
– shall we dance?