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dear future husband,

i found you.

we met january 10th. i was on a date with your roommate, and while he was out of the room, we made small talk. we talked a few times over the next month, but then you looked up my number. our first date was febuary 28th. we met up for lunch, went to a museum and talked straight for six hours. maybe seven. i went to a girl’s night right after and was so excited to tell them all about you. i knew that night that you were someone very special. i knew that you were my future husband. i was completely smitten.

we held hands for the first time the next thursday. it was a snow day, and you walked from your house to mine. forty five minutes in a snowstorm- uphill. i changed four times before you came over. looking effortlessly casual is really difficult. we watched youtube videos about elevators and escalators. it was the silliest thing i’ve watched, but it was great. you were so adorable. i wanted so badly to hold your hand. then, eventually, while watching parks and rec on my laptop, you reached over and held my hand. we cuddled, talked and laughed for hours.

we had our first kiss the next night. we went to a game night in dc. while walking back to the metro, you spun me into you. i thought you were going to kiss me, but that wasn’t our first kiss. instead you hugged me. our first kiss was later that night. it was wonderful, even if i was a bit rusty.

you said you loved me for the first time a few weeks later. you sorta let it slip one night, while we were hanging out. somehow i made you laugh, and you started to say those words. a few days later, you owned it. i said it back maybe a week later.

i’m looking forward to the next couple of months of you being my “future” husband.

x leslie

honesty hour

Processed with VSCOcam with f3 preset Processed with VSCOcam with t1 presetalright, honesty hour. and i mean complete honesty.

the past two years have been such confusing years. i’ve had some of the highest points of my life, and also some of the toughest struggles.

high points:

– making wonderful covenants with the Lord in the temple

– figuring out my career (hopefully for the last time)

– making wonderful friends

low points:

– being single for over two years and having very few options (i can count the amount of dates i’ve been on in the past two years with one hand)

– plus, as of now all of my exes are in serious committed relationships (engaged/married)

– having some of the biggest spiritual struggles of my life and doubting answers that i received and was once so sure of

– increased anxiety and stress regarding my future

– some intense loneliness and nostalgia for school and my friends from there

part of the reason i haven’t blogged much in the past two years is because i felt like i don’t know anything.  i feel like if my past relationships haven’t worked, then something must be wrong with me. it’s crazy and untrue.  i mistook “realism” for “cynicism” especially when it comes to how i view myself.  but i’m done with that.  i also thought that i shouldn’t accept that i care a lot about finding love; romance shouldn’t be in the top of my priorities, but it is. i’m a romantic.

so, i’m back to blogging.  i’m back to being a “realistically-hopeful-romantic”.

be on the look-out for more “dear future husband” letters.